candy hap insanity (2019)

don’t be afraid

Arthur went down to Albania
to get an idea of the area
He wrote some sketches in a diary
and soon he had the idea

of writing a book for all the people
who’ve never made it down to Albania
so he sat down at the desk
and unleashed the words in his diary

Patrick went to the museum
to deliver a chair the he made
He had no glue but a clue how to fix
the price that seems adequate.

So now a chair of Patrick’s flair
is standing among those of the masters.
He didn’t tell the director
that  the price covers 100 times the expense,

Julia Julia with the big ass
(I mean, it’s just bigger as she wants it)
came back from New York with ideas without forks
and soon the people got what the needed.

And Luca, a friend of a close friend,
invented right at the same moment
in the same trade the same lemonade
which makes everybody drop the best comments.

And what about my so called friend Boris,
did you see him right above us?
It wouldn’t be fair to stare in the air,
cause maybe that could make him so nervous.

And what about me, have you heard about me,
I mean, could you imagine to do so?
Fear is sometimes just a bad habit
so here comes the choir in stereo:

Don’t be afraid, jut do what you want
Don’t be afraid just do what you need
Don’t be afraid, till it’s all too late,
Don’t be afraid, just don’t be afraid.

.

young&gifted

When
When we were young it was unquestioned
what we’re doing
Each of us had a whole world spread before his feet

Now
The paths are all drawn it seems and yet there’s
No achieving
Some say you get what you deserve and what you need

I see the disintegration plan
demanding more from me than I can
So do I finally have to new through with it
Devotion is my confidence
and you being sceptic s’where it ends
We don’t remain with the young and gifted

So
a further plan  waits to be drawn
on virgin papers
And those who wouldn’t come
won’t find a place in the ark

Look
Look at the golden cage, the ashes’ adoration
shall the indolent run dazzled through the dark

We hear the breeze blow off the sail
the anchor’s chain is torn as well
prevents from to soon to be lifted
No I won’t perish in the flood
heads in the sky, the feet in mud
So I say a prayer for the young and gifted

Oh yeah

We all have dreams
but just one life
rectangular and plain
We all have dreams
and have to die
there is no plan to fail

Now
we don’t belong no longer
to the young and gifted
Though we were so ambitious and
so proud of it all

Look!
Look at the broken mug,
collect the scattered pieces
before the next depression brings us all to fall…

We don’t belong no longer
to the young and gifted

We all have dreams
but just one life
rectangular and plain
We all have dreams

.

sailor

Would you mind
To come over?
Temperature outside
is low, girl
We could have
a cup of tea ort wo
or coffee

Everything would be so sad, girl
if you won’t come into my world
Don’t be scared and don’t be weary
Winter’s near and it is very cold

I’ve got something there for you
Girl, what I’m supposed to do?
What should I prepare for you?
I just want to get you on the ground

Would you mind to play dirty
games with me,
We’re over thirty
Sailors sail because they
like the the sea and I like you
so sail to me!

I’ve got something there for you…

.

black butterfly

Black butterfly, wave your wings through my dreams
bring me from there, bring flawless light on the schemes

Dark was the night
as you sat on my bed
I stood petrified
and cracked

Black butterfly, found a place on my pillow
mirrors the white of these sheets of my Ego

Rarely seen, never been caught
you leave without trace on a bare-naked sort,
on a delivered court

Black butterfly, sister of my Psyche,
what do want me to see?

Black butterfly, asleep on my side
and when I awoke black dust on my side

The window stands clear from then everyday
ne’er met him again, so it seems that I learned
what he wanted to say

.

She’s not hard to see

A walk among the pioneers’ acts,
we talk about the undone facts,
the white walls serve as mirrors for our path

Society’s amnesia
seems to make it easier
but in fact it just suffocates my wrath

Syllables, syllables,
my life runs out from peak to peak,
and as I look around the corner:
she’s not hard to see. (She’s not hard to see)

On the zigzag-course out of my soul,
I meet a man called Charles de Gaulle,
the undone facts become reality

Watching Artemisia
does not make it easier
perhaps as well from distance
she’s not hard to see?!?

Miracles, oh miracles,
I hate to wait for miracles
but as I look around the corner…

Syllables, damn syllables,
I’m bound to speak in syllables
To you…(She’s not hard to see)

She’s not hard to see!

.

little girl

You little girl
In your big, big world,
Do you know what you want?
I don’t think so,
But you know how you can get it.

Oh, you little girl
With your hazelnut-curls
Do you know what to do?

Except standing in the corner crying
You try to look grown-up and lie
On a princess-bed
But I say: just close your eyes instead

You’re not:
The drug that I’m addicted,
The pain that I’m inflicted,
I just liked you

You are:         
Just an episode of my life
Neither a wound and nor a knife
You’re harmless

.

desolate days

The candle lights evade,
I’m not inspired
I dream the hates
of many people

A look out of the window
does not charm
committed sins
or suffered harms

Member of the program
that I’m still
tolerate the wounds,
suppress my will

And still I’m wandering
through the haze
I must confess,
I had the choice
between a multitude of ways…

The strings are torn
and born’s a baby
that nobody
wants to raise

Where the others
have a memory
I still recall my
desolate days

I atone for my surrender,
It’s a stone around my neck
The scent of guilt won’t disappear
the fear always will come back

And still I’m  wandering…

.

I just wasn’t made for these times

cell phone – internet – pay TV
cheap flights – roquette – mp3
Ostblock – Thai food – short hair – any hair

less church – less state – less is more
brown bear – sugar free – chewing gum
bicycle – everywhere
good clubs – everywhere

nice people everywhere
good life  everywhere
and every time and anyway and anyhow and anyway
and every time and anyway and anyhow and every time

good people everywhere
good life everywhere
every time anyhow…

I just wasn’t made for these times

.

white house

I am living in a white house, white house,
surrounded all by grey walls
Close the fences at the windows
so that I can see nothing at all.

To plug the guitar in the amplifier
you need permission from above
But in these ruins of an old time
just beware the corpse of the doves.

When the gonna come
I’ll be hiding behind

Yes the gonna come
because they are blind
for the beauty.

They are coming with a big big army
of workers and architects
In the eyes of the shark-men
there’s nothing to protect.

When they gonna come
I’ll climb on the roof

I won’t say a word
I won’t start to move
Unless they remove me.

I am living in a white house white house
the  army finally came
but what they found when they showed their hammers
was not quite the same.

Choir:  „There is a dead in the white house white house,
he left the ruins with a spell.
So if we ever want sell that building,
we’re going all to hell.“

Going all to hell

.

Brennessel fields forever

I am sitting on the lap of a tree.
the torch on the leg is confusing me.
There behind are two white trunks
kissing each other at the river Cam bank.

Lying on the grass
loving means no mess
A penis made of wood would last forever, yeah, I guess

I found a brilliant scene
I wish that you have seen
I wish that you could smell the nettles wavering
This is a cosy place
I feel the gods‘ embrace…

The Chinese kids on a cattle’s tail
take some pictures of me and fail
to immortalize, because I’d fade
into a pie of rye I’ve made

that a black dog wants so much to eat,
he entered the play with a respectable speed
Black as hell
Polite as well
Didn’t touch the pie, but he was…

…peeing in the grass,
living means no mess
and the pubes beneath me are tickling at my ass.

I found a brilliant scene
drowned deep in vitamin
I wish that you could smell the nettles wavering.
This is a cosy place
I feel the gods’ embrace:

Brennessel fields forever

nuad uj kiät iim tell.
Däb utton tzi knith ei sideth,
tair ø tzi tab ninujt, ouniut nakui sideth
U ol roia hiebt sam tiniimia.
Iirt iam nisi knith ianawuon.

As the clouds gathered
and the bad weather
was about to come
I let things done
and sank into her lap!

Brennessel fields forever
Brennessel fields forever

.
.
.

capriole (2017)

Read my diary

Pick it up
from the ground
take the pages
where you found
justification.

Swallow the lines,
snort ‘em up,
drink the letters
in a cup
for a consolation

You hold my life in your hand
You took away its innocence.

I feel bad that I wrote it
There’s no need that you quote it
I feel embarrassed the way I lived
In that hide-away,
paper hide-away

For if you need some guarantee
get a little closer to my secrets, and
if you want to get rid of that mystery

Read my diary

We’re still persons on our own
We share secrets for ourselves
May we be one in some way
Sometimes two we should remain.

.

Sadeyed man

What can I give her,
she couldn’t get from another man?
Don’t like to be compared with them,
don’t like to condemn

Inside me there’s fire,
burning love and jealousy
Why can’t she even call me up,
I’m running wild, blind
into love’s insanity

I can’t bear this feeling
to be left alone on the streets.
There are all these sadeyed men
worrying about their girls, just like me

I know she’ll be faithful
cause she said she would always care
But deep inside, my confidence
is shook by her absence and I ask again:

Where did you spend the last night?
and why don’t you see that I’m not alright?
and who is the reason that you’ve been out of sight?
And I tell you baby I won’t wait again,
I’m sick of this feeling and being such a sadeyed man

I can’t bear this feeling..

.

Talks of tomorrow

You could eat from the floor,
and the windows are clear
I am waiting for someone
but no one is here
I could wait for so strongly
and all is prepared
for the moment
for the moment, I know

that tomorrow begins the rest of my life
and I’m biting my nails
as it’s up to arrive,
as the talks of tomorrow
drive away the tidiness
anyway it’s meaningless

Oh oh oh oh oh

I could listen the talks
But I don’t understand
it’s a language that I can’t yet comprehend
I won’t learn it until
the meaning gets real
and I will see
that I don’t need no teacher

Oh oh oh oh oh    [that I don’t need no teacher]

And the talks of tomorrow are here

.

Letters from Paris

It is half past ten,
The train arrives,
I let the tension go.
She is waiting at the top for an embrace

There’ll be time enough for thinking
and yet both we can sink into
a future no one of us knows by face.

Her existence is an ocean,
every mile is something new,
though the blue always seems to be the same.

It’s the ink for all the words on
the blank papers on her desk
while outside the future beasts wait untamed.

Letters from Paris,
[lettres de Paris, je t’envoyerai]
I will send to you

We both wander hand in hand
and soul to soul through misty streets,
untouched by the rumors of this place.

Our innocence yet so frivolous,
we let the tensions go,
we both share the undivided joy of days.

When we returned to Gare d l’Est,
we both kept silent,
and silence held back all the tears to cry.

She turned around not even waving
and while I was moving, she soon escaped from my eyes.

Letters from Paris
[lettres de Paris, je t’envoyerai]
I will send to you

.

Elsewhere

I have been to Morocco,
Waterfalls, I’ve seen them flow
Skin as dark as ebony
and desert turning into sea

But though this place is worth to go,
a different one I care:
My heart is elsewhere

Many cities I have seen,
London, Paris and Berlin
They all are different, but somehow
they loose their meaning here and now,

Cause all the roads that I have walked
And those with whom I talked
were not the ones I care
They made me so aware:
My heart is elsewhere,
my heart is elsewhere

.

Failure

All I did and all I planned
fire to ashes and stone to sand
Seems to me that all my efforts useless

Never did I give in, nor relax
a running locomotive on forgotten tracks
Seems to me my energy so pointless

I don’t need another failure
I think I learned my lessons yet
The lessons l already learned from my mistakes

 

Tears for Augustine

I bury my dreams
five feet deep
Where they can rest,
where they can sleep
So long I carried them all in vain
I know I know I can’t explain

I lose control down every street
could cry with everyone I meet
It feels like I’m through with it all,
I know I know it’s all my fault

I grow a beard so I’m not seen
I shed a tear for Augustine
Should she be the only one I know
I know I know I’ll let her know

The ruins of my life I feed
to those who really are in need
And though I’ll never see their faces
I know I know about their grace

I call my folks, and my message is plain
that they won’t ever see me here again
So many times I tried to part from them
from you, the ewe, the ram, the lamb

And when I’m finished and I clear my brain
I‘ gonna see my dreams again
And if the soil is still too dry
a tear, another tear I’ll cry
a tear for Augustine I’ll cry

.

Amor

[he]
Every little step you take
Every single hour awake
I will keep an eye on you
and I know that you just do
the same

[she]

Cupid shot his arrow at me
right into my heart as deep as can be
By this mark you shall know me
as the one who belongs to thee
forever

Forever – together – forever – and ever

.

Givenbirth

Givenbirth
nothing on earth
as deep and calm

No single word
from outer world
could do you
bad and harm.

As distant as could be
as close as you to me
as joyful as my tear
as mighty as my fear

The love that grows in me
comes unconditionally
upon you long before you appear

I feel your life
I hear you sigh
Maybe you’re frightened of what comes

A universe
an entire world
is what I can feel in my palms

And I will keep away
every threat that may
come close to you
when awake or asleep

To be your father
[through all the flesh I see you]
and no other
[I see a life beginning]
is the only promise I could ever keep.
[I see my whole life turning]

Givenbirth

.

White Venus

Giddiness, my sweet giddiness,
you make me dance ‘til dizziness
I could swear, that I caressed
a light emitted by a dream to testify
Meaningless, oh so meaningless
seems all I’ve seen before

I just stand still,
the earth stands still,
the breathes I hear
announce the kiss I feel.

Giddiness, my sweet giddiness,
for you I tumble out of loneliness
The price to pay I paid by suffering I guess,
The  dream is testified by Venus dressed in white

Consciousless I’m drifting in unconsciousness,
‘til I emerge out of my virgin’s holiness

The earth stands still,
the pain I feel,
the dying breathe of a demon killed

Giddiness, oh sweet giddiness,
you changed and turned into happiness
I’ll take her hand with tenderness,
the earth stands still,
the future will not end

.

You are so real

You are so real
So leaving you to me seems
impossible

You are so real
So leaving you for me is
impossible

Shine on, live on
Send waters to the thirsty man
who needs you

Burn bright
and keep him warm
Whisper words of tenderness
into his ears

Don’t listen to the wolves
Just care for yourself
You’re too important for the world
beneath your feet

Don’t blame it on the stars
The only star is you
It will take eons to understand
what made you

You are so real
Sometimes It’ll be impossible
to reach you.

.

.

.

false stars

my black black pages

Millions of tones that I’ve played
couldn’t tell you the way that I feel
So I put them
on my black black pages.

the silent whispers of death
that I hear sometimes when I’m through
All have their settlements
on my black black pages.

Gallons of tea and moments of joy
couldn’t wash away this ink.
I tried to contain and laughed out by force,
but the darkness would not shrink.

So I sit in that futurist cage
like a bird that lost its way
and sings a song written on
my black black pages.

I can’t deny how pathetic and I
can’t forgive me the lies,
so I think.

The door it stands open,
but I don’t dare flying,
halfway drowned in the ink.
I always aimed at the big,

I never felt well with the small.
Stories like this you can read
on my black black pages.

.

5 years in september

Through these lenses
I can see the world
in such a different way
in such a deeper way

Through your sheer existence
I can realize
what I have missed so long
what held me down so long

Oh oh oh

But though I am happy o it hurts
It hurts so much
Born in bloody sheets
wrapped in red towels love it hurts
It hurts so much
We’ll keep in touch

Forever I’ll remember
those 5 years in september, oh oh oh

Somewhere in my life
I had to decide
where it will lead me to
where I should guide it though

And at this point of no return
you just smiled at me
as my child-to-be, yeah.

Oh oh oh.

But though…

.

red raincoat

I saw you
there at the corner
as you stood

I found you
incredibly beautiful
as you stood

in your red raincoat
raincoat

I made you
an unheard proposal
there on the trottoir

You turned away
watching the rain
that turned into haze

feeding our days
with desire
quenching the fire
that lightens our ways

When you left
a second of sadness
strengthened my back
taught me respect

Maybe you
appear somewhere else
enoble that place
with your red raincoat
raincoat

.

things I love

the premiere of a trickfilm festival
nobody there to be connected
I was much too late when I went away
anyway, I was too bored to be detected.

the only real fascination
I found on the poster walls
It’s the scheme of the photographer
in the eyes of the superstars

Oh oh oh

I like the light of the lantern
which can’t decide whether off or on.
It’s the binary code of the night time
long before the day will dawn

A window stands open at the cellar
of the house which is next to mine
I always felt attracted by cellars,
in cellars, I always had a good time.

Oh oh oh

The premiere of a trickfilm festival
brought me these moments of delight
no that you know my secret pleasures
you can publish them or overwrite.

.
.
.